A compatibility researcher says dating apps are 'mostly a waste of time.' Here's how to find a partner you actually click with.
Business Insider
March 3, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Dr. Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor at UC Davis and author of *Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection*, has criticized dating apps for being mostly ineffective in helping users find compatible partners. Instead of relying on quick matches based on surface-level traits like interests or political views, he argues that true compatibility is built over time through shared experiences and mutual growth. Eastwick emphasizes that relationships are more about constructing connections than finding a perfect fit from the start.
One key issue with dating apps, according to Eastwick, is their tendency to create endless options while discouraging deeper engagement. This leads users to focus on impressing someone within minutes, rather than allowing relationships to develop naturally. His research shows that most couples don’t feel an immediate “spark” upon first meeting, but instead build attraction over several dates. He recommends committing to at least three dates before making judgments, as impressions can be unstable in the early stages of a relationship.
Eastwick also highlights the importance of joining hobby groups or clubs to meet people in low-pressure environments. By interacting with the same individuals repeatedly, couples have more opportunities to build compatibility and understanding. Additionally, he advises focusing on positive signs—like how someone makes you feel—rather than obsessing over potential red flags. This approach shifts the focus from analyzing past behaviors to nurturing emotional connections.
Ultimately, Eastwick’s insights are valuable for anyone seeking meaningful relationships in today’s fast-paced world. His emphasis on slow-burn connections and emotional stability aligns with broader trends toward prioritizing quality over quantity in both personal and professional contexts. For business professionals, this perspective underscores the importance of investing time in building strong, enduring relationships—whether in romance or career partnerships.
Verticals
businessfinance
Originally published on Business Insider on 3/3/2026