Burn Your Romance Novels!
Psychology Today
by Cheryl Fraser Ph.D.February 20, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Burn Your Romance Novels! | Health & Mental-Health
Romance novels may promise love that conquers all, but they often set unrealistic expectations for real-life relationships. The article uses the example of Aunt Hazel, who immersed herself in bodice-ripper romances, to highlight how these stories can mislead readers into believing in a perfect, fantasy romance. While such books provide temporary escapism, they can harm your relationship by fostering dissatisfaction with your partner and setting up unrealistic standards.
The key issue is that romantic fiction often portrays idealized relationships filled with witty dialogue, heartfelt gestures, and effortless compatibility. These depictions can unconsciously shape your expectations of real-life romance. By comparing your partner to fictional characters or longing for the "perfect" love story you’ve read, you risk overlooking the unique qualities of your actual relationship.
The article emphasizes that no real person—yourself included—can meet the perfection标准 set by romantic novels. This can lead to unrealistic comparisons and a focus on what’s missing in your relationship rather than appreciating what you already have. Instead of chasing an unattainable ideal, the author encourages readers to embrace the imperfect yet meaningful connection they share with their partner.
To re-ignite real romance, the article suggests taking action to create personalized gestures that align with your partner’s preferences and desires. This means focusing on understanding what truly makes them feel loved, rather than following a formulaic approach inspired by fiction. By doing so, you can foster a deeper connection based on genuine appreciation and shared experiences.
Ultimately, the article reminds readers that relationships thrive on realistic expectations and mutual effort. Instead of seeking perfection, focus on nurturing the unique bond you share with your partner. This shift in mindset not only strengthens your relationship but also promotes mental health by fostering gratitude and satisfaction with what you already have.
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/20/2026