Emotional Labor in Relationships: When Love Becomes Work
Psychology Today
by Stephanie A. Sarkis Ph.D.February 20, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Emotional labor in relationships often goes unnoticed but can have significant consequences for those involved. It refers to the invisible mental and emotional effort one partner expends to manage the relationship's dynamics, such as de-escalating conflicts, anticipating needs, and maintaining harmony. Over time, this unequal distribution of emotional work can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and a loss of intimacy. Many people assume "work" in relationships refers only to physical tasks like chores, but emotional labor is just as critical—and often taken for granted. It involves small yet constant efforts, such as checking in on a partner's mood or remembering important dates, which can become overwhelming when carried alone.
The article highlights how societal conditioning, particularly for women, often socializes them to take on this role, reinforcing the cycle of emotional labor. This imbalance creates an uneven dynamic where one partner becomes emotionally active, while the other remains passive. Over time, this can lead to feelings of isolation and burnout, with the emotionally dominant partner feeling like a parent or manager rather than an equal partner. Relationships affected by emotional labor often struggle with power imbalances, emotional distance, and repeated conflicts about support.
The impact on mental health is profound. Those carrying the majority of emotional labor may experience chronic exhaustion, anxiety, and even depression. They might feel unseen or unappreciated, leading to resentment that quietly builds over time. This dynamic can also harm the relationship's foundation, making it feel one-sided rather than mutual. When one
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/20/2026