Harnessing the Power of 'If'
Psychology Today
by Mary McNaughton-Cassill Ph.D.February 26, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
The article explores how humans uniquely grapple with "if" statements—whether reflecting on past regrets ("If only") or anticipating future threats ("What if")—and how these thoughts shape our mental health and decision-making. Drawing insights from psychologist Robert Sapolsky's work, it highlights the distinction between human rumination and animal instinct, emphasizing that dwelling on the past or obsessing over potential futures can lead to stress, anxiety, and even chronic conditions like PTSD.
The article identifies three key coping styles centered around "if": counterfactual regret, preventive coping, and proactive coping. Counterfactual regret involves replaying past decisions and generating sadness or depression through "if only" thoughts. Preventive coping focuses on preparing for potential threats with "what if" scenarios, which can be healthy but often becomes overwhelming as it drains psychological and social resources. Proactive coping, however, is the most balanced approach, encouraging individuals to build tangible and emotional resilience while remaining confident in their ability to adapt to challenges.
The article explains why this matters for mental health: adopting a proactive mindset reduces anxiety and fosters personal growth by reframing negative events as opportunities rather than threats. It emphasizes that proactive copers focus on learning from past choices, building resources, and trusting their capacity to handle future adversity. This approach not only enhances problem-solving skills but also cultivates psychological resilience, helping individuals navigate life's uncertainties without being consumed by regret or fear.
Ultimately, the article underscores the importance of shifting from a "what if" mindset to an "if it happens, I will cope" perspective. By focusing on preparation and confidence rather than constant worry, individuals can reduce stress, improve mental well-being, and lead more fulfilling lives. Understanding these coping styles provides valuable insights for anyone seeking healthier ways to manage life's challenges and maintain emotional balance.
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/26/2026