Help! My new partner doesn’t wash his hands after going to the toilet

Sydney Morning Herald
by Danny Katz
February 13, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Help! My new partner doesn’t wash his hands after going to the toilet
A recent query to Modern Guru highlights concerns about a partner’s bathroom habits, specifically their failure to wash hands after using the toilet. The writer expresses discomfort after noticing dry soap and a damp hand towel, leading to hesitation in physical contact. Danny Katz humorously addresses this by suggesting potential reasons behind the lack of handwashing, such as grooming or self-care rituals like nose hair removal. He also playfully warns that men might interpret constant surveillance as smothering. The article explores the dynamics of intimacy and trust in relationships. Katz advises using an “intimacy ultimatums” approach to encourage better hygiene, suggesting that withholding physical affection could motivate a change in behavior. While this tactic might lead to excessive handwashing, it ultimately puts pressure on the partner to adapt. The piece emphasizes the importance of communication and mutual understanding in addressing such concerns. This situation reflects broader cultural and societal norms around bathroom habits and their impact on relationships. Katz’s advice highlights how everyday behaviors can influence trust and intimacy, offering a lighthearted yet practical approach to resolving such issues. Ultimately, the article underscores the need for open dialogue and creative solutions when navigating relationship challenges.
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Originally published on Sydney Morning Herald on 2/13/2026