How People Adapt to the Narcissists in Their Lives

Psychology Today

by Boris Herzberg

February 25, 2026

AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary

Living with a narcissistic person can be challenging, as it often forces individuals into a pattern of adaptation that psychologist Alan Rappoport calls "co-narcissism." This term describes how people develop survival strategies to navigate the complexities of relationships with narcissists. These strategies include vigilance, silence, and compliance, which are frequently dismissed as anxiety but are deeply rooted in responding to a narcissist's demands. Co-narcissism highlights the dynamic where individuals become enmeshed in supporting the narcissist's ego, often at the expense of their own emotional well-being. The article explores how narcissistic traits, such as grandiosity and manipulation, stem from low self-esteem and an intense need for validation. This can create a toxic environment, particularly for children who learn to suppress their individuality to please narcissistic parents. Their survival strategy involves adapting by becoming extensions of the narcissist's narrative, whether through identification (adopting similar traits), compliance (providing unwavering support), or rebellion (reacting against the imposed expectations). These responses are not freeing but rather define individuals in relation to the narcissist. Understanding co-narcissism is crucial for mental health, as it helps explain patterns of anxiety, guilt, and depression that may arise from these dynamics. Recognizing these behaviors can empower individuals to break free from unhealthy cycles, fostering healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self. This insight underscores the importance of addressing narcissistic tendencies in personal and professional contexts to promote emotional well-being.

Verticals

healthmental-health

Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/25/2026