How to View the Concept of Shaming
Psychology Today
by Michael R Edelstein Ph.D.February 23, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Shame is a powerful emotion, but its roots lie within us, not in external judgment. The Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome taught that our emotions are shaped by how we interpret events, not the events themselves. This insight is as relevant today as it was centuries ago. When someone criticizes or insults you, whether on social media or in person, remember that their words cannot change who you are. Their opinions are just that—opinions. For example, if you're called "fat," this label doesn't define your worth or value. You remain the same person, regardless of how others perceive you.
The article emphasizes that shame is often fueled by irrational beliefs, such as "I must not be fat" or "I should be thin to be acceptable." These thoughts can trap us in a cycle of negative emotions, but they don't reflect reality. To break free, the Stoics suggest focusing on what you can control: your own reactions and responses. This approach fosters self-acceptance and resilience.
For those struggling with body image or self-esteem, understanding that no one else has the power to shame you is empowering. Instead of seeking validation from others, focus on cultivating unconditional self-acceptance. The article provides a practical exercise called the "Three Minute Therapy" to challenge irrational beliefs and reframe your thoughts. By doing so, you can replace feelings of shame with concern or disappointment, which are more constructive emotions.
Ultimately, this perspective matters deeply for mental health. When we stop giving others the power to define our worth, we reclaim control over our emotional well-being. This mindset not only reduces shame but also strengthens self-confidence and resilience in the face of criticism. For anyone seeking a healthier relationship with their body or mind, embracing this Stoic wisdom can be transformative.
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/23/2026