Is the Love Really Gone?

Psychology Today

by Diana Tutschek, M.S.

February 20, 2026

AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary

Relationships often experience shifts over time, with feelings of deep connection gradually giving way to a sense of disconnection. According to Family Systems Theory, this process can be understood as emotional fusion, where partners suppress parts of themselves to maintain harmony. Over time, this suppression can lead to dissatisfaction or even crises, such as affairs or contemplations of divorce, as individuals seek to rekindle lost passion or regain a sense of self. The article also highlights how personal life events—such as illness, death, job loss, or midlife reflections—can shape perceptions of a relationship. These experiences can make a marriage feel like a symbol of stagnation, leading some to view divorce as a path toward renewal. Understanding these contexts is crucial, as they often involve deeper emotional and psychological shifts rather than simple dissatisfaction. Helen Fisher’s biological framework offers further insight into how relationships evolve through distinct stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust, driven by hormones like testosterone and estrogen, fosters sexual desire but is not exclusive to a single partner. Attraction introduces focus, creating romantic intensity akin to an addiction, while attachment provides long-term stability through oxytocin and vasopressin. These systems can operate independently or overlap, explaining phenomena like infidelity or shifting relationship dynamics. The interplay of these biological and emotional factors underscores the complexity of love and relationships. Recognizing how these forces shape connections can help individuals navigate challenges, whether by addressing underlying issues or fostering healthier communication. For those interested in mental health and relationship well-being, understanding these dynamics provides valuable tools for maintaining strong, enduring bonds.

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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/20/2026