Neurodivergent Identity Is Not About Being Special

Psychology Today

by Imi Lo MA

February 19, 2026

AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary

Recognizing oneself as neurodivergent or gifted is not about seeking specialness but about aligning with one's true nature for personal well-being and fulfillment. The article challenges the misconception that identifying as neurodivergent is an attempt to stand out or feel superior, emphasizing instead that it is a journey toward self-acceptance and living in harmony with who you are. This process is not just psychological but also deeply spiritual, requiring individuals to shed societal expectations that often do not align with their unique experiences. Many neurodivergent individuals face environments—such as classrooms, offices, or social gatherings—that cater to a specific range of processing abilities. For those whose nervous systems function differently, these settings can be exhausting and depleting, leading them to mask their true selves to fit in. This "camouflaging" involves suppressing natural responses to appear more typical, which has significant psychological consequences. Research shows that masking is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and identity disruption, particularly among autistic individuals. The article highlights the importance of person-environment fit, a concept from occupational psychology that underscores the need for alignment between an individual's traits and their surroundings for well-being. For neurodivergent people, this mismatch often extends beyond work settings into nearly all aspects of life, causing chronic strain and long-term mental health issues. The narrative of "The Ugly Duckling" is reinterpreted here as a story not about superiority but about the relief of self-discovery and no longer pretending to be something else. Understanding neurodivergent identity matters deeply for readers interested in health, as it sheds light on the importance of self-acceptance and societal awareness. By recognizing and embracing their true selves, individuals can reduce mental health struggles and foster environments where they can thrive without fear of judgment or the need to mask their

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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/19/2026