Protecting Yourself if You Want to Forgive

Psychology Today
by Robert Enright Ph.D.
February 19, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Forgiving someone who has wronged you is a complex process that requires careful consideration and self-protection. According to the article, forgiveness involves offering mercy through respect, kindness, and love, without excusing the wrongdoing or reconciling if it endangers your well-being. It’s important to recognize what forgiveness truly means and what it doesn’t entail—such as excusing the injustice or giving in to unhealthy situations. One key takeaway is the importance of understanding your emotions before rushing into forgiveness. Allow yourself time to process anger, confusion, and fatigue caused by the wrongdoing. This emotional processing can be a crucial step toward healing. Additionally, avoid feeling pressured by others to forgive quickly, as this can lead to misunderstandings about what forgiveness truly involves. The article also emphasizes resisting naysayers who discourage forgiveness based on their own misconceptions. Forgiveness is a personal choice, and it’s essential to recognize that those who condemn it often misunderstand its nature. By staying informed and confident in the benefits of forgiveness, individuals can navigate this process more effectively. Research highlights the positive impact of forgiveness on mental health, with studies showing its effectiveness in promoting healing when approached correctly. Understanding these psychological benefits can help individuals feel more confident in their decision to forgive while protecting themselves from harm. In summary, forgiveness is a powerful yet nuanced process that requires self-awareness and patience. By clarifying what forgiveness means and doesn’t mean, allowing time for emotional healing, and resisting external pressure or misconceptions, individuals can practice forgiveness in a healthy and empowering way. This approach not only fosters personal growth but also contributes to overall well-being, making it a valuable tool for those seeking mental health benefits.
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/19/2026