Raising Kids in a World That Rewards Anxiety

Psychology Today
by Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D.
February 26, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
In an era where social media amplifies pressure to perform and conform, many parents unknowingly contribute to their children's anxiety by overemphasizing conscientiousness and self-awareness. The article highlights how kids are being trained to think excessively about every action, often praised for traits like worrying about outcomes or double-checking work. This mindset, while initially seen as positive, can lead to chronic anxiety as children get trapped in endless "what if" loops, unable to shake doubts about social interactions, schoolwork, or future decisions. The article reveals that these overthinking patterns are not just harmless quirks but can actually hinder confidence and mental health. By constantly reassuring kids without equipping them to handle uncertainty, parents may unintentionally fuel anxiety rather than alleviate it. The author shares insights from their work with children and teens, emphasizing how even high-performing, empathetic kids often struggle internally due to relentless worry. This inner turmoil can manifest as burnout or a lack of confidence, despite outward appearances of success. The article underscores the importance of addressing childhood anxiety not just for mental health but also for long-term resilience and well-being. It argues that overreliance on reassurance prevents children from developing essential coping skills. Instead of endless mental rehearsal, kids need opportunities to face challenges, make mistakes, and recover—processes that build true confidence. To combat this, the author
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/26/2026