Sorting Through a Life, One Box at a Time
Psychology Today
by Jessica FeinFebruary 23, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Sorting through someone’s belongings after they’ve passed away can feel daunting and emotionally overwhelming. The author shares their personal journey of navigating this process following the deaths of loved ones, including their grandmother, daughter, parents, and sisters. Through these experiences, they learned valuable lessons about how to approach sorting through belongings in a way that honors the person while managing the emotional challenges involved.
The author emphasizes the importance of not going through the task alone. Enlisting trusted individuals to help with organizing, donating, or disposing of items can make the process more manageable and meaningful for everyone involved. This collaborative effort allows loved ones to contribute meaningfully, helping both the mourner and the helpers feel connected and supported.
Another key takeaway is recognizing that keeping every item doesn’t honor the person’s memory—it’s about finding what truly holds sentimental value. The author reflects on instances where they kept items like photo albums or binders of medical notes not because they needed them, but because they represented a chapter in their life they weren’t ready to close. This process requires self-compassion and understanding that there’s no right or wrong way to decide what to keep or toss.
The author also highlights the emotional complexity of this task. Memories are deeply personal, and it’s important to acknowledge that not every item holds significance for everyone involved. For example, while one person might cherish a particular item, others may not feel the same connection. This realization can help individuals avoid feeling guilty about discarding items or storing them away if they don’t resonate personally.
Ultimately, the author encourages readers to view this process as an opportunity to honor their loved one’s memory in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them. Whether it’s donating items to others who might value them or holding onto cherished mementos, the goal is to create a sense of closure and connection while navigating the
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/23/2026