The Hidden Guilt and Shame of Childhood Emotional Neglect
Psychology Today
by Jonice Webb Ph.D.February 23, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Childhood emotional neglect (CEN) occurs when parents fail to respond adequately to their child’s emotions, leading to long-lasting feelings of guilt and shame that can persist into adulthood. This emotional unresponsiveness often results in adults who are overly critical of themselves, struggling with self-trust, and grappling with the belief that their feelings are a burden or inherently wrong. The article explores how CEN shapes individuals’ relationships with their emotions, leaving them feeling isolated and disconnected from their true selves.
The internalized messages of CEN manifest in several ways. First, children learn to suppress their emotions to avoid troubling their parents, which may seem adaptive at the time but leads to a lifetime of emotional numbing and loneliness. Second, they develop a deep sense of shame about their feelings, believing them to be excessive or inappropriate. This mindset often results in an inability to accept emotions as natural and biological, leading to self-criticism and perfectionism. Lastly, CEN can leave individuals with the haunting belief that something is fundamentally wrong with them, even if they recall their childhoods as happy or carefree.
Understanding why this matters for mental health is crucial. Suppressed emotions can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and relationship difficulties, as individuals struggle to connect with others on an emotional level. The article emphasizes that these feelings of guilt and shame are not inherent flaws but rather the product of unmet emotional needs during childhood. By recognizing these patterns and challenging the false beliefs, adults can begin to heal and reclaim their emotional authenticity.
The article concludes by offering hope: the messages of CEN are not true. Feelings are not inherently
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Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/23/2026