What Does Dating With 'Chalance' Mean?
Psychology Today
by Bruce Y. Lee M.D., M.B.A.February 19, 2026
AI-Generated Deep Dive Summary
Dating with "chalance" refers to an intentional shift away from traditional dating advice that often emphasizes nonchalance, such as waiting days before responding to a message or appearing indifferent to seem more desirable. Instead of playing it cool, chalance encourages being openly enthusiastic and actively engaged in pursuing a connection. This approach involves expressing genuine interest, being attentive, and avoiding delays in communication. While nonchalance has been promoted as a way to appear high-value by seeming unattached, chalance flips the script by embracing vulnerability and enthusiasm, potentially fostering stronger connections.
The roots of nonchalance can be traced back to dating advice that suggests downplaying interest to avoid appearing eager or desperate. This mindset has also influenced trends like "situationships," where ambiguity about commitment exists, often due to fear of expressing true feelings. While some people thrive on this dynamic, others may feel undervalued or stuck in a cycle of emotional distance. Chalance, however, seeks to break free from these patterns by encouraging authenticity and openness.
From a mental health perspective, chalance highlights the importance of balancing confidence with vulnerability. Being enthusiastic can foster deeper connections and build trust, which are key components of healthy relationships. However, it also requires
Verticals
healthmental-health
Originally published on Psychology Today on 2/19/2026